The Victim's Story
Let me share with you how was my experience when I was in a relationship that broke my heart and soul.
I was born in a traditional family where marriage was supposed to be forever and when I met my exhusband that’s the mentality that I had.
However even though I could see signs of his temper while we were dating, I decided to ignore it thinking that I was going to be able to change him(Very naive on my side).
So my 1st mistake was justifying actions that should not be justified, he used to call me names and raised his voice if I was not doing or being wherever he wanted me to be.
2nd mistake was go ahead and marry him, and that happened because in a Latin American culture if you dont get married before a certain age then you have a lot of pressure from society, family, friends asking are you going to have kids? When? When are you getting married? Etc.
(I don’t know if nowadays it’s still the same).
So then I got married and things for the first five months were ok even though he was telling me that he didnt want me to work (of course this could be seen as aww, such great husband that he wants to take care of me completely or well, this is the 1st step to take if he wants to control myself as that way if I don’t work, and I don’t have money then I will depend on him 100%.
Thankfully I stood up for myself telling him that I couldn’t stay home doing nothing so I worked part time but very soon when I mentioned that I wanted to send some money to my family, he was making a big deal when I told him that was My MONEY and I worked for it, then he said he will give me permission to send some money sometimes as it was my money.
So month after month little by little small actions like this were happening(control, yelling, calling names if I was not doing what he wanted me to do, and minimizing me saying that my work was something that didnt make any money and that my work was dumb etc.)
Year after year things were not getting any better and my only refugee was GOD/Universe, and my dogs.
I Pray and pray everyday, I wanted soo bad to stay married as I didnt want myself and my family to think I failed, but my soul was soo sad and people that saw me one day and then saw me again 6 months later asked me if I was ok as they could see in my eyes that the light in my eyes was fading.
However I was soo afraid of not being able to find a place to leave by myself with my dogs as for years my husband told me that I was not making enough money, that I wouldnt be able to survive on my own, and I felt I was not worth anything.
Finally one day he came from work and left his work bag infront of the main door, and when I opened the door as I had to leave I could hear some glasses so I opened the bag and found 2 wine cups and a Victoria Secret cream.
I went to work and on my way back I asked him what were those 2 wine glasses and that cream.
He said it was nothing and to mind my own business.
That was when I realized he was cheating on me.
Then of course things got worse between the 2 of us,
His insults, name calling, yelling and hitting the walls etc, got to a point that my poor 2 dogs crumbled out of fear. (I knew that if I didnt leave the next one he will punch will be me).
I never stopped praying but this time I was soo tired that I prayed to help me find a place where I could take my dogs with me and be able to afford to leave on my own.
My Faith is soo big and I knew that for God/Universe nothing is impossible, so I allowed myself to be guided and I was able to find the perfect tiny place where they accepted me with my 2 dogs.
I left one day while he was at work, I took just my things, my 2 dogs and I bought in Walmart an air bed as I didnt take anything else with me and I remember that was the 1st night I was able to sleep in PEACE AGAIN.
There are many layes that need our deep and full attention to find why are we acting the way we act, why do we feel the way we feel etc.
Thank you very much for reading my story.